Amrapali

Generally I don't stop at National television channel while surfing. But I don't know why that Sunday I did that! It was the movie Amrapali...by F.C. Mehra (1966). This post is not a just another movie review, but what forced me to pen down this is the ultra enigmatic character of this movie that is Amrapali! Yes,I am smitten by her pursuit of the truth! I do have her few references from the book "Buddha". May be that's the reason why I glued to this movie.

Amrapali was one of the most beautiful women of the history. Her ancestral record was not available in history and it was believed that she was found under the mango tree and hence named as Amrapali!! She belonged to some 500 BC era. She was the patriot of Vaishali- a democratic city of that time. There is quiet an ambiguity on her affair with Magadh king. Some refers to Ajatshatru whereas some refers to Bhambhasara.

She possessed magnificent beauty which became a curse for her. As she grew up every young noble of republic desired her and wanted to marry her. Being the democracy, Vaishali parliament didn't want to loose their city unity for a beauty. So to avoid confrontation among her suitors, they took a very harsh decision then. they declared Amrapali as "Nagarvadhu" that means state courtesan. It was the trend then that most beautiful women would become courtesan and it was a respectable profession then. Only kings, princes, generals used to visit her.

Amrapali, the exquisitely beautiful lady nursed injured warrior Ajaatshatru, the emperor of Magadha. Unknown of the fact of his identity she was deeply in love with him. But when she realised the truth she didn't want to be a traitor of Vaishali and hence she left him. Ajaatshatru invaded Vaishali to possess Amrapali legally. He did conquer but he lost her as she couldn't believe that thousand of innocent people were killed for a selfish achievement! She renounced the world and joined Buddha.

There is a second dimension to this story. When Buddha and his disciples visited Vaishali, Amrapali noticed one of the monks with the begging bowl and fell in love with him for his grace, dignity, awareness. She offered him food and invited him to stay at her palace for next four months of rainy season. Jealous and angry fellow monks reached Buddha and narrated the incident. But Buddha permitted his monk to stay there for four months. He was very confident about his monk's consious. He knew that this monk would change Amrapali instead! Four months passed and that monk returned to Buddha followed by Amrapali. She said, " I tried my best to seduce your monk but he seduced me.He convinced me by his presence and awareness that the real life is at your feet. I want to give all my possessions to the commune of your monks."

There is a third dimension too. After renouncing all material pleasures Amrapli requested Buddha to let her join his disciples. But Buddha didn't approve of it as there was no bhikkuni (female monk) till then. It made her furious and disappointed. She asked Buddha," Why there is no provision for women in your commune? Is spirituality forbidden for females?" he simply said,"Its not forbidden for females.Only becasue it may harm sanity of my monks because you are so beautiful" She replied," Are your monks so weak that they can't stand my beauty?" This made Buddha to accept her as his disciple and she became the first bhikkuni.

Out of all the above stories the common factor is she joined Buddha as his disciple. Being one of the most sought after female, she left everything after the realisation of the shallowness of material world. She realized that her beautiful body is transitory. and everything for that matter around her was transitory. She couldn't hold anything permanently..her possessions, her beauty, her palace nothing! It was an illusion...nothing more that that. But we get so engrossed in these illusions that we start believing it to be the reality and get lost.....

Amraplai was one of the few disciples of Buddha who got enlightened. So truth is not forbidden for any cast or commune or gender...its accessible for everybody...every Amrapali can become Buddha...then why not you and me?

Opportunity

Its been few days I have lost my peace for a while....hummm...so its still possible to me, I have realised. I was under an illusion that nothing can hit me inside. But may be I had not come across such situation before..I mean I had but not such an extreme when it really hits you!

I used to feel I have in complete acceptance of life..the way it is...the way it comes..and believe me it was true up till now. But Sadhguru says you really need poking people around to fathom the intensity of your own spiritual practices.But I guess either my practises was not enough or he just wanted me to know that there is a long way to go....so you need to keep checking your self!

To be in acceptance is the mantra to life. But then acceptance can't be enforced upon you. If you are not capable enough to accept something then you have to accept that as well..yes I can't accept it!

I came across a simple yet very powerful thought, "Opportunity: often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat." So if I look at it as my defeat then its an great opportunity, isn't it? I should make use of it..I have realised where I stand and I know where I have to go....See people will be there to discourage you but its good for you!! I always used to think I can't stand hypocrites..but then that's a so strong dislike I had created in me as these people are bound to be there around you. So accept them just the way they are.Ok if you can't then, accept that you can't accept and act on it! alteast accepting the later you are not being pretentious..you are taking what you accept...and you are rejecting what you can't accept!

hummm...but I will cherish this experience also..again I am being judgmental..but that's what confirming to me that I still need to learn a lot. But cherishing this kind of experience means just mark it as a milestone, always keep it alive and try to imbibe the essence of acceptance in me!!
lets see how much I succeed in this?

So you see, its not that easy too....to keep alive tranquility of amazing calmness in you it takes much more than what is visible. But now when I introspect, I respect these pocking people for being there for me and testing me... I have learnt to respect everything that comes my way! I will make best use of this opportunity!!

The Seed

Its unimaginable calmness inside...Its really beyond words.Its so much to explore inside that I feel this lifetime is just not sufficient enough....really wonder how to exceed in my own longing for something beyond!But its amazing to have this. None can touch you, can take it away from you, no more floundering for anything...just an incredible tranquility!!

I really wish that every person should once experience it..no matter what. It makes you so gentle that on one can hit you.yeah it sounds contradictory but its true..Gentle here means composed..poised..that nothing can affect you! You become the punching bag...any number of punches delivered on you, you are standstill! No one can harm you, no one can break you, no one can hurt you.

See..its not that people have started suddenly being very good to me.The world is just the same.But there is a seed inside which has learnt to blossom.With some effort though..this seed is willing...and willing to become a big plat one day...and what I have to do is just nurture it..just comfort it..just offer whatever little I can. I want to see the plant grown.I want to witness it...I want to become that plant!! I still have to go a very long way.But what I have found at the very begining is such that I am excited for the unfold path.

You approach the world with so much ease ...and casualty..there is no pre or post thinking..no irritation..no frustration..no restlessness...because you are frozen in the single moment..you are living moment by moment..as if you are playing cricket ball by ball without thinking about the entire match..you are not bothered about the over even.If each moment is frozen as if its the last ..how will you be? And if you can be that way for all those moments...then how will it be? I know it sounds ambiguous..but its very very simple...You are in so much content with what you have within..that EVERYTHING seems to be tame...you do not need external oxygen support to be happy..you are just joyful!! there is no other way you can be! All the external breakdown agencies do work at their best but the reach is at a very superficial level.It doesn't enter your system.It just bounces back. So its really enjoyable...imagine the life without any worries and problem..what else we wish for?So you see...No one can mess with the secret divinity inside..no one can even think of that..no one can even imagine to ever reach that.

But all of us should reach out to ourselves and find our seed within! Its very much there you know...lying somewhere..just try a bit...push a bit...search for it..willingly...we will face it one day.And that day is not too far...the day we confront it, it will be the day to remember our lifetime...It will be the day to cherish always.

So please put a step ahead, reach out to yourself, don't hesitate...its yours ..always...its been lying there for so many years...its waiting for your proactive initiative..just go ahead..find your seed..find your self..and experience the bliss...its wonderful....beautiful...

Just ask for the love and grace to the divine, it will be granted!