Life is beautiful...

Today's morning was just the usual one.I was just turning around the pages of the news paper and read that news...twice..."10th std girl committed suicide by jumping off the terrace.." It was mistaken as an accident..but after investigation they found her notebook in which she had written her last massage to the world and that was "I quit".Oh.... that got me!!!

What is wrong with these students these days yar? How could they even think of suicide at this age? Is life is so invaluable for them? Don't they think even once about their parents? Or the pressure is so much dominant over everything in the life? what is it? I would really like to address all those students out there.I definitely want you all to just think a little over this!!

Can you forget those days... when you all were small kids and always clung to your moms for all small things you wanted."Mamma..i want chocolates..ice cream..cake...pizza..pasta.noodles..cookies..what not." She was always there for you for each and everything you needed her for. She was tired at times..she was disturbed at times..might be she was depressed at times..reasons were innumerable. Might be cos she had a fight with your dad..cos she was not well at all...cos she had lost her job..cos she had no money...cos she was troubled by relatives...she had given lots of work in the office which was out of her capacity...reason could be anything.But she understood that YOU were the first priority in her life who is all above this.You were her only star who shines all the time no matter how the sky was.She was always there by your side no matter what.She could never give up on you.You were and are her first love in life which is all above her worries and problems. She loves you sooo so much. And unless you become a mother or father you would never realise her devotion dedication, sacrifice, all that she has done for you!!

Can you forget those days... When you used to wait for your dad to demand that new thing in the market you just admired? that toy you just saw on the shelve and wanted it badly? Those branded jackets..those brand new bats...rackets...shoes...all those expensive things you ever wanted..remember every little thing you asked to your dad? He too was always there for you..no matter what..for all those things you wanted.And what was there on his mind? Might be he is pissed off due to his job..but couldn't let it go whenever he saw you and your future? Might be he was harassed by his boss but every time he opened his mouth to answer back he had you in mind and he gulped his anger.Might be he wanted to buy that posh car..but he killed his desire as he wanted to save his money for your future.might be he never wanted to do all this..he wanted to devote his life to his hobby but he always thought about you and erased it. Might be he and your mom couldn't gel well but still they remained with each other because it was better for you to do so!!

So many adjustments, sacrifices they had done for you.They are countless. Then you started going to school...you started enjoying your friends,company. And you had always been given the space you wanted. As they didn't want to intrude upon your privacy. You entered the world..you saw new people..you examined them..you learnt new things...you wanted to do your best.You wanted to make your parents proud of you by performing well.You started trying hard..you realised that competition is very tough and you may not beat your competitors...you realised its very hard to please everyone..you realised one day its all crap you are into..you cant do anything about anything...you cant achieve the expected grades. This is it!!! And you think of suicide!!....... Why??? I mean who told you that that's the end of suffering? I mean do you ever realise what is suffering?

Have you even notice those half naked kids on traffic signal? Have seen that glimpse in their eyes? They do not have enough clothing to cover themselves up..they do not have enough food to fill their bellies, they do not have shelter on their heads. The only thing they have is their urge to fight the life..their urge to face the life..their urge to deal with life..the way it is!! They do not claim to be best beggar..they do not claim to be the best car cleaner..they do not claim to be anything..because they somewhere understand...that they can not effort to do all this..they do not have choice to be the best or something.They just know one thing and that is they want to earn for that day..so that they would have a meaningful meal in the night. Have you ever looked at this aspect? What it is to be worried about getting one time food for a single day? I am sure, you have not! It never occurred to you that life can be so ruthless..so unjustified! but the point here is these people do not go and jump off the terrace or sleep over the railway line. They are not cowards..they know the only thing to deal with life is facing it!! They have accepted the life the way it is. They know it can be better...but the point is : today they are with the life fully..they are living their part fully..they are dealing with their lives fully...they are not running away.

Life is so precious guys. Its once in a lifetime opportunity.Please do not miss it. There is no charm to success if there is no failure. If there is no scorching sun how will you enjoy cool shade of a tree? If there is no pain how will you love joy? If there is no bad how will you ever know the taste of good? Life is that way..everything goes hand in hand..good and bad, love and hatred, success and failure..everything. So if you want to enjoy the former be ready to deal with the later too. Face the life as it comes..do not run away. Failure is the first step towards success. If you fail, that day should be celebrated because you have put your first step towards success. all your idols..all of them..do you think they are here without any failure? I am sure they have had most of failures on their account when they started their journey..that's what made them what they are today!!

Life is too beautiful to be wasted upon an ugly suicide guys.Please..if that thought peeps in ..even for a fraction of second just think about the person you love the most...think about those underprivileged children...think about your great heroes whom you admire and follow. Suicide is a cowardly act.Please do not even think of attempting it. Just be in the flow of life as if there is a floater hugging you..you are not bothered about the path you are passing through...looking up there in the sky...and enjoying the flow..just floating....life will take care of you for sure if you just be with life!!!

You and I

You say you are not giving your best..I say its all me and me..take what you want

You say you are not there for me..I say I was never here and there anyways..I am all into you

You say you always think about all others except me..I say cos I do not need to think about you as we are one

You say your concern for others make me feel ignored..I say my concern for you is so much that I need to concern others a bit to make them feel attended

You say you have lots of expectations from me, I say let me be just human

You say you are too good for others sometimes..I say that applies to everyone around me

You say you are dangerous when angry..I say hummmm...that can be worked upon..am sure I can win over it with time

You say you are so confusing sometimes..I say I have left that for you to sort it out

You say you are messy at times..I say that's when you can show me your brighter side

You say you invite unwanted situations..I say that's when you pull me out of

You say you are misunderstood at times..I say it really doesn't matter as long as you do not misunderstand me

You say you do not like this and that what I do...I say please accept me what I am..rather give me some time to accept you as you are

You say you are this and that and what not..I just say one thing whatever I am..is a reflection of you..just see your self in my eyes..you will no more find any difference...its divine..
 
I say do I need to say anything? Its so much inside it would take up a lifetime to disclose..let it be there..lets leap and float together in the ocean

Feel the difference

After completion of Inner Engineering programme, I was happy in practising my kriya.It gave me so much that I really wanted to reach out to people.Then coincidentally I could meet my teacher Maa Kashyapi and she told that this programme is coming up in Kharghar.That was it !! Hubby and me were so happy as we really wanted our family should do this.We imagined all sorts of thing..we will do this and do that..but then there was no disclosure about the programme.Finally again we could meet Maa and asked her about the confirmed date. She said "yeah its there on 29th Sep-5th Oct.And I will be conducting it."I just jumped out of joy and told her that she would be staying with us.And she accepted. We both were so happy that its not possible to pen down here.
The dates of the programme were out and venue was decided. I called up Mani anna to let him know that we are interested in doing whatever small work we can.And that's how it started.
All volunteers meeting, organising things, putting up posters, distributing brochures, doing introduction to closed ones to encourage them to join in...all started. First day of poster putting...4-5 of us started at 9.30 pm and finished one area till 11.30pm. It was amazing..so fullfilling. I had been suffering from severe spondylitis till that day.I couldn't drive, couldn't work on laptop.It was painful.I told abhi, " If i put this poster my pain will be gone"he looked at me in awe..I just smiled back.And for your surprise..it happened ..pain was gone in the night!!
Then there was no looking back...everyday coming back home...having dinner and putting up the posters...this was the schedule. We were enjoying it as it was our first time of volunteering. Maa Kashyapi couldn't come due to some other commitment on time.But Maa Erin moved in with us.First we were not sure how she will adjust to our family being a foreigner.What she will eat and how she will stay.But she was more Indian than us. And we really enjoyed our time.
Those 7-8 days of my life flew just like that. And only in that time my work load was also increased in the office.But it all got sorted out. I could manage everything.
Volunteering is something that no one can teach you.It just comes from within. I also had some resistance few times like why me? why not? why this ?n why that?... but after initiation on Sunday it got dissolved with Saduguru's voice. And the next moment there was no resistance in me. I just felt like part of something..that i do not understand!The work we were doing was not the daily work we do..be it mopping, be it cleaning the vessels, be it sweeping the floor, be it serving the food, cutting vegetables, preparing food..anything...it was not work anymore...I was just doing it...I didn't know why, what and how? but it was just happening..and some force was there with me..i remember at times i was so exhausted and tired that i thought of giving up! But Sadguru was there with me all the time..I just threw myself without any hesitation...
The last day arrived.The teacher acknowledged volunteer's work and everybody clapped for us. That time we thought ..oh what have we done yaar? why they are clapping? ..bit embarrassing...
I offered a small parting gift to maa.It took me long time to decide on it as I was not sure whether she would accept it or not.But she loved it so much! She was getting late for the train.there was no scope to waste time in anything there...she really had to rush to the station otherwise she could have missed the train. We were standing in front of each other with heavy heart to say good bye..I felt like holding her but I hesitated..as generally they avoid it being teachers. But she hugged me and I couldn't stop myself..that one moment was so joyful...she left...and i was left there with emptiness. After winding up the setup, I returned home ...i was in ecstasy....full joy..she infected me with it....it was mingling there for so long....this is the gift i will never forgive!!!! thanks maa!!!
Now I am really looking forward for the next Kharghar programme... :-)

Poor SMS

I went to bed quiet late that day.May be 1.30 am or 2 am.At 12 it reminded me of my friend's birthday.But I thought she must be sleeping..why to disturb now...will do that in the morning. When I got up in the morning, the very first thing I had to do was wishing her. So I grabbed my cell phone and started typing "Happywala Birthday ka massage". My cell is so obedient that he obeys all my orders. Hes so smart that I do not even have to tell him what word I am looking out for.He himself does that. I just type 2-3 alphabets and he grasps my mind.So sweet of him. I do not even bother to remember spelling in this case. So easy know...anyways..so i typed birthday massage by wishing her all the happiness in the world. And I turned towards other daily routine. She even reverted back with a cold thank you. I was like..hummm must be not feeling good or may be its not cold but I am assuming it to be cold.So its my problem.

I decided to treat her.So planned a nice luncheon and sizzling brownie at CCD. That is our all time favorite spot.Humm..I picked up the phone rang her up..it got disconnected..must be in meeting I thought. Then again in the afternoon tried her number and got disconnected...humm really an important meeting is going on..I thought. Then lunch time was over and I had to attend some meeting. I didn't make any attempt after that. I got a call at 5pm and it was her! I was in the meeting so I received it and promised her to call back. By then my cell went on oxygen mode. No battery. He is already suffereing from some low battery and  no network sundrome!I had to attend few important calls and phone was down.  Huh...sad...went back home..put the charger on and I went on waiting mode. After some time I received a sms form my dear friend. She congratulated me for being the first one who wished her all the harshness in the world!!! I got a shock of my lifetime..WHAT???? I thought shes gone mad. Then I thought wait a minute why she is saying that? I picked up my cell and called her..She was in a furious mood.She even wanted to return my so called happywala sms...hummm..I asked " what happened?'

After few minutes of discussion I realised that it was my dictionary mode who cheated me. And it was the sms who played the devil that day. She actually received a sms saying" I wish you all the harshness in the world" Oh my god!!! I couldn't believe it!!!

After a long conversation I somehow convinced her that it was not me...it was my cell..and finally she accepted.!!

See, if she wouldn't have told me ever about that stupid sms..I would have never come to know about it. I probably didn't check what I typed. The first thing dictionary picked after typing HA is harshness and next is happiness! Bloody harshness ate up my all happiness that day! huh....technology does come with some disadvantages.Guys do not ever trust your dictionary mode.Just imagine you being the first one to wish your best friend on her b'day harshness for a lifetime.Imagine the consequences...I had experienced..you better not..so just be careful..

JOY ..within

He rang me in the office and asked me to check out the website of Isha Yoga. I said OK..lets see what it is? Then very next day he decided to attend the classes and I was like naaahh...not me! Then I attended introductory lecture just to accompany him and I decided to join in too. We couldn't believe ourselves, we got up at 4am in the morning and did all that we never even dreamt of.It was truly a nice experience.


Isha Yoga..inner engineering..talks about inner wellbeing.There is no fuss about God and religion.There are few aspects I would like to share it with you. The very first benefit of Isha Yoga is it helps you increase your efficiency.It also increases your memory.It helps in weight reduction and believe me it works.Many diseases can be cured by simply practising some asanas in a prescribed way.

But there is one more dimension to it and that's where the essence lies.It also gives you the mantra of happiness. Now what is happiness? We all know what it is , right ? So how do you get it ? Can you buy it somewhere?

Ok lets assume my happiness is in a diamond set.Then I buy it for me...I am sooo happy.Then I have it...happiness gone.How long you would be happy for that diamond? Lifetime? Nope! It applies to all the material thing in this world.You just cannot buy that joy! Its there within you..you have to glance inside and find it out. Ok.Then what we should do for it?Do some asanas and you will be happy?what nonsense? Nope! Its not about doing asanas.

Its about searching your inner being.Its about knowing yourself.Its about self realisation.Who are you?What are you here for?What is the meaning of your existence? Or you just want to be born..live and die? If we are capable of answering these questions then the answer for how to become happy forever.. lies within. Just imagine if a BMW makes you a billion times happy. Then feel that happiness within you...try try..really..if you really get a BMW then what will be the magnitude of happiness? Ok you have gauged it..now assume that this joyful feeling is going to be there with you forever and ever and ever...none of the problems will eat up your peace..there will nobody to disturb your mind..no grief..no pain..only bliss! Can you think of it? You have that Joy with you 24X7. Of course it an amazing feeling..no wonder.

But then how is that possible? are we going to buy BMW everyday all long our lives?Nope! Then? You just need to give a little time to your own self. Sit for a while and think why am i doing all this? Why am i endlessly going behind a momentary happiness(?) ? You know what? If you get the mantra of happiness then you don't need a bungalow..don't need a BMW..don't need diamonds...you will be as peaceful and joyful in a small hut as you would be in palace...trust me.

This is science.You can experience it.Many of us think spirituality means winding up the lives and heading towards Himalayas.But that's not true, spirituality is not about into meditation all the time. If you read Buddha you will come to know the very simple paths of life being in this material. Now following those paths and enhancing your own self will definitely help you finding yourself. Take a dive within..its a very deep ocean inside unexplored...waiting for you...meet yourself...

I know I am talking quiet vague.But these things are not to be talked about.These are experiential. I know you wont be able to define your experience post self realization .Because you can not explain it in words..its beyond that. So all the best for journey. I hope you will be the happiest person in the world without any BMW :-)

Mesmerizing Eve

I know all of you may find this post a bit offtracked.As I generally pretend to be very intense writer :-). But I am also a human yar. Even I have a heart. I was also a teenager year(s) ago. So the reason to write this post here is just to rejuvenate my childhood memmories.

That day I was on my way to office.I had been feeling gloomy since night for no reason.Suddenly I was stunned by the hoarding in the square.And the moment i saw it,it brought four inches smile on my face..the same smile I used to have to see him once upon a time.The same kind of excitement I got ...and after so long..I actually screamed out...WOW..SONU....YEAHH. It was Sonu Nigam live concert.That to just five minutes from my home!Can you believe it? I know you can but I couldn't I swear.It made my day. I told my hubby "I am not going to miss it...no matter what". He knew younger year's my madness for Sonu Nigam but he might thought it was over by the time. But when he experienced same kind of jerky reactions from me he sarcastically said "yeah yeah I will take you to watch your brothers concert..don't worry" How rude was that!Anyways....just few months back I was wondering "why doesnt he make public appearances offlate? He is just disappeared.Thats not good for his fans." And I really wished that he should be apparent on the shows very often.

I remember when his first video was launched - it was copy of some of the Rafi's songs then only I noticed him.Then came "tu..." song..and I told my mom "he is going a long way..watch out".My mother as usual said "should not go too long otherwise you won't find him for you" For her it was nothing but an insane act of an adolescent.Anyways...but she used to call me out for his all appearences on television. Then came Diwana..and he became the icon...all girls were his fans..including me ofcourse! I watched all of the SaReGaMa episodes with repeat telecasts only for him.

On 26th January, since the morning I was reassuring my hubby that we are not going to miss the concert no matter what.He is such a sweetheart knowing the fact that that singer was my crush he agreed to accompany me.I just love him.Ofcourse he thinks I am more than enough matured for my age now(?)thats what made him take me to that concert.

It was 8pm to 10pm. and we reached the venue at 7.45pm.In no case we could find a good place to sit.It was overpacked and overcrowded.All entries were closed to the amphitheatre. But there were sideways open to stand and see the show. We somehow managed to push ourselves to fit into that packed crowd.I was actually praying to God..no matter what I want to watch his show and just like Jab we met dialogue "jab aap kisi cheej ko dil se chahate ho na ..actual mein..to aapko wo actual mein mil jati hai (If you really want something then you get it).My prayers were answered finally.
After a long(?) struggle of few minutes we got a place just next to VIP rows.We were standing though but that gave us a good visibilty.And it was just 15feet away from stage.It couldn't have been better than that. And the show started.He appeared on the stage.He came..he saw and he ruled.The whole crowd went mad..all of us started screaming...shouting...all stupid things.We enjoyed doing that.Hubby also shared the space at his best as he screamed more than me at times!

Sonu Nigam is a real rockstar..MJ of India.The improvisation he makes to the song is just amazing.We couldn't find a single song similar to any of its original version. It was mesmerizing in real sense.The brreathtaking experiance to watch your favourite star performing just few feets away...just incredible.And top of that hubby carried his camera and could manage to capture the star in our memories. Hatsoff to you Sonu!!! YOU REALLY DESERVE IT!
That eve lingered on my mind for many days post concert.And then decided to share it with you guys.Hope you will like it.Courtesy for photos goes to Abhi my dear hubby :-)