Wednesday, October 20, 2010

You and I

You say you are not giving your best..I say its all me and me..take what you want

You say you are not there for me..I say I was never here and there anyways..I am all into you

You say you always think about all others except me..I say cos I do not need to think about you as we are one

You say your concern for others make me feel ignored..I say my concern for you is so much that I need to concern others a bit to make them feel attended

You say you have lots of expectations from me, I say let me be just human

You say you are too good for others sometimes..I say that applies to everyone around me

You say you are dangerous when angry..I say hummmm...that can be worked sure I can win over it with time

You say you are so confusing sometimes..I say I have left that for you to sort it out

You say you are messy at times..I say that's when you can show me your brighter side

You say you invite unwanted situations..I say that's when you pull me out of

You say you are misunderstood at times..I say it really doesn't matter as long as you do not misunderstand me

You say you do not like this and that what I do...I say please accept me what I am..rather give me some time to accept you as you are

You say you are this and that and what not..I just say one thing whatever I a reflection of you..just see your self in my will no more find any difference...its divine..
I say do I need to say anything? Its so much inside it would take up a lifetime to disclose..let it be there..lets leap and float together in the ocean

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Feel the difference

After completion of Inner Engineering programme, I was happy in practising my kriya.It gave me so much that I really wanted to reach out to people.Then coincidentally I could meet my teacher Maa Kashyapi and she told that this programme is coming up in Kharghar.That was it !! Hubby and me were so happy as we really wanted our family should do this.We imagined all sorts of thing..we will do this and do that..but then there was no disclosure about the programme.Finally again we could meet Maa and asked her about the confirmed date. She said "yeah its there on 29th Sep-5th Oct.And I will be conducting it."I just jumped out of joy and told her that she would be staying with us.And she accepted. We both were so happy that its not possible to pen down here.
The dates of the programme were out and venue was decided. I called up Mani anna to let him know that we are interested in doing whatever small work we can.And that's how it started.
All volunteers meeting, organising things, putting up posters, distributing brochures, doing introduction to closed ones to encourage them to join in...all started. First day of poster putting...4-5 of us started at 9.30 pm and finished one area till 11.30pm. It was fullfilling. I had been suffering from severe spondylitis till that day.I couldn't drive, couldn't work on laptop.It was painful.I told abhi, " If i put this poster my pain will be gone"he looked at me in awe..I just smiled back.And for your happened ..pain was gone in the night!!
Then there was no looking back...everyday coming back home...having dinner and putting up the posters...this was the schedule. We were enjoying it as it was our first time of volunteering. Maa Kashyapi couldn't come due to some other commitment on time.But Maa Erin moved in with us.First we were not sure how she will adjust to our family being a foreigner.What she will eat and how she will stay.But she was more Indian than us. And we really enjoyed our time.
Those 7-8 days of my life flew just like that. And only in that time my work load was also increased in the office.But it all got sorted out. I could manage everything.
Volunteering is something that no one can teach you.It just comes from within. I also had some resistance few times like why me? why not? why this ?n why that?... but after initiation on Sunday it got dissolved with Saduguru's voice. And the next moment there was no resistance in me. I just felt like part of something..that i do not understand!The work we were doing was not the daily work we it mopping, be it cleaning the vessels, be it sweeping the floor, be it serving the food, cutting vegetables, preparing was not work anymore...I was just doing it...I didn't know why, what and how? but it was just happening..and some force was there with me..i remember at times i was so exhausted and tired that i thought of giving up! But Sadguru was there with me all the time..I just threw myself without any hesitation...
The last day arrived.The teacher acknowledged volunteer's work and everybody clapped for us. That time we thought ..oh what have we done yaar? why they are clapping? ..bit embarrassing...
I offered a small parting gift to maa.It took me long time to decide on it as I was not sure whether she would accept it or not.But she loved it so much! She was getting late for the train.there was no scope to waste time in anything there...she really had to rush to the station otherwise she could have missed the train. We were standing in front of each other with heavy heart to say good bye..I felt like holding her but I generally they avoid it being teachers. But she hugged me and I couldn't stop myself..that one moment was so joyful...she left...and i was left there with emptiness. After winding up the setup, I returned home ...i was in ecstasy....full joy..she infected me with was mingling there for so long....this is the gift i will never forgive!!!! thanks maa!!!
Now I am really looking forward for the next Kharghar programme... :-)