Generosity

That day I was on my way back to home. It was around 1-1.30 pm. I was standing in the door of the train...as usual .Its my favorite place...I really enjoy traveling by local train. It’s so much fun. There are so many different genres you come across….so many people of different backgrounds… different mentality….different behavioral patterns….real life!

So I was trying to eat up few remaining pages of Sudha Murty's book as I wanted to start the new one as early as possible. I was trying to relate myself to those stories in some way...of course in a positive way. If its about intellect then I thought "humm..am not dumb"..if its about love then I thought "I hardly hate anybody"...if its about kindness then I thought "hummm i am generous"....but I got a shock of my lifetime in few moments when I was engrossed in self appraisal. I was having a glance through the book at each station. I noticed a small kid is sitting in the door just opposite to me. He was not begging...not doing anything. just sitting there...still...with bare minimum clothes on his body, dark colored, tired eyes, as if he was not feeling well...i saw him and again buried myself in the book. Suddenly a lady in nauwari sari with a basket of vegetable rushed towards the door. She was a middle aged woman who was earning wages after quiet a hardship of a day. It was apparent that she wanted to get down and train whistled...in that rush moment she fumbled in her purse and took out two coins of Rs.2 and said"Ae pora, he ghe"( take this child). He was not in his senses...looked at her and accepted it with apathy...and she got down. I witnessed the whole incident …that lady disappeared...I was back to the book. I didn't understand what I was reading. I was just running through pages. I was feeling ashamed of myself....I was feeling very small...no one else showed the gesture that poor lady did...it moved me completely!

I was going through a thought process. Generosity...it’s the urge to help others no matter in what state you are in...If you the richest man of the world and doing charity....that's not a big deal. For me that lady was the epitome of kindness! I am quiet sure those Rs.4 were very precious to her...and she didn't even have a grudge against her act...she looked so contented. And how can we call our self generous?.....I didn't even feel like giving money to that guy as it would have looked like copying that lady...poor me....when I was about to get down I was on the edge of the door …searched for a note in the pocket and gave it to him....that boy looked at the note and then to me ...but I was not there....but it didn't give me any satisfaction....i was feeling still SMALL....