Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Surrender

There are lots of inevitable things in the world. Life is full of misery, grief, pain.So many incidences in life consist of bad memory. Why can not people forget the sad part in life and go ahead with the good one. Nope that is not possible at all. If you can carry the good then mind you you are bound to carry the bad one too. Whats the solution to this? How can we avoid pain in life? Can we? Is there any solution?

Even I am not an exception to this. I have also experienced pain in life. I believe there is always a reason for each and everything whatever we come across. When i passed through that bad phase i was shattered completely. I was not able to make out why me? I was not ready to accept it. The more and more i rejected it the bigger was the pain. Acceptance is not so simple as it sounds. I keep advising my friends accept the life as it is and there is no worry!

There is a story i read about Buddha sometime back.Once he was passing through a village followed by his disciples. There was a group of staunch people waiting for him who were against his protagonist image. So as soon as he entered, mob started abusing him. He was as calm as quiet as before. That indifference was unexpected by the crowd. He was then asked, "Why are you not reacting ?" He simply smiled and said" if i offer you fruits, but you don't wish to eat it then what will you do?" He got an answer that those fruits will be distributed to family relatives and others. He said "then go back and distribute all your hatred to your family and relatives. i don't wish to accept it so its of no use to me." So acceptance is the root cause of everything. Its all upto you. If its good for you then take it otherwise just deny.

But when i was put in the same palate i gave my best not to accept it.I didn't want to accept that pain. Such is the life..huh..but yes such is the life...you cant do anything about it. But when i was back to my conscious in the hospital i realized it was over. My baby was no more with me.And that was the reality....i accepted. I accepted that he is gone, it had to happen to me and it happened and i cried a lit and suddenly i started smiling, don't know hwy? I chatted with my husband and was fine then. Superficially it was all back to normal but it was not. I was carrying a burden of something unknown. I was angry with God. I didn't deny his existence but he couldn't help me out when i needed him the most. He could do nothing. He couldn't save my baby. I was holding on it for so many months. I was under terrific pressure. Pressure of not letting go, pressure of responsibility, pressure of being good, pressure of lots more than that. It was becoming more and more difficult for me.

That day it was too much. I was fade up of all never ending arguments and misunderstandings.Fortunately our dear didi had come over for a weekend. And she made us realize that things were not fine and we were being pretentious. She actually made me realize that i was not okay and that was okay to be not okay. She played an angel for us.Next morning, i got up, completed my routine exercise, and meditated for some time as a part of my daily dose. I confronted God..talked to him..i screamed inside...i said" this is it..i cant take it anymore....just make everything fine..normal as before...i am tired of it..come and hold me.I am your child , you have to help me out.I completely surrender myself."

The moment I opened my eyes it was my husband who was sitting in front of me as if he heard everything. He smiled at me.He confessed that I was shouldering lots of thing beyond my limits. Now he would take over. He would share my all worries and tensions. The very next moment things were normal. Just perfect. I couldn't believe it. Is it so easy? so simple? Oh my God! It was so simple. What was I waiting for? May be I could gauge my own capability to handle problems though it was horrified. But then it was all solved.You just have to surrender...but yes it takes lots of time to reach there for many of us. Either we pull on for so long or we just remain idle.

Osho says enlightenment is always through surrender, but surrender is achieved through intelligence. Only idiots cannot surrender. To surrender you need great intelligence. To see the point of surrender is the climax of insight; to see the point that you are not separate from existence is the highest that intelligence can give to you.Though the surrender he talked about is to follow the path of intelligence . Although we can always follow these principals to solve even small problems in life. This practice will definitely redirect us towards the same path of intelligence.

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